Dear DevOps Borat :
We need a DevOps Backend Engineer and we want you. Consider this a job offer to work at HelloFax. Because you have never applied for this position and you live all the way in Kazakhstan and you sometimes like to make sexy time with the memcache server, this may come as a little bit of a surprise. But you have known for awhile that we have been really impressed with your work.
You’re the child of a goat herder and a prostitute, but you’ve already scaled several sites for the Bureau of Intestinal Affairs. You’ve taught yourself to admin systems, and you built an ad hoc server rack from the bladder of a goat. And you have that rare gift of making the red and green lights go blinkety-blink. AND, your prowess on the Twitters that reach lesser known DevOps peeps in the other “Stans” are eloquent and well thought out. It would be an honor to have you join us here at HelloFax.
Here is your job description: You will not fuck up the back end code. You will keep the site running and let our CTO sleep at night (if he chooses to).
If you ever decide you want to go back to working on your own startup, we will most certainly not revoke your work visa and send you back to your country. In fact, we will hold your Passport for “safe-keeping” because America (and SF in particular) can be wild and dangerous for DevOps.
You won’t have to pay a penny when drinking with the rest of the team at Toronado. You will be allowed to wander the streets around our office in the lower Haight breathing in the inspiration. We’ll even give you a computer and internet access. Want an external monitor, keyboard and mouse? We will spare no expense (so long as you don’t use up the remaining $83 on our Staples gift card.)
This offer has no expiration and, regardless of whether you decide to work with us, we hope you will teach us how to make a bolo tie from sheep entrails just like yours.
The HelloFax Team
Inspired by our friends at 42 Floors.